Eyes Open
by Darksabre35
Summary: Two years into the Clone Wars, Zeltron Jedi Apprentice Niebur Boton thinks she has seen most of the bad things the galaxy has to offer - but she hasn't. After a horrific experience with a man who could not take "no" for an answer, the scarred young woman battles her inner demons as she hunts for revenge. Song - fic to Taylor Swift's 'Eyes Open.'


_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Wars: The Clone Wars. _

_**Author's Note: **The main character and narrator of this fic, Niebur Boton, is actually a canonical character. I have never read _Evasive Action: Prey_, the comic book in which she appears, so I really have no idea what her character is like. Her backstory and experiences in this fic are entirely my own creation.  
_

_**Warnings: **There is sexual abuse and a fair amount of Star Wars strong language in this fic. 'Eyes Open' details how I think a Jedi girl would react to being r**ed.  
_

******~Eyes Open~**

* * *

_Wrong a Zeltron and you've made an enemy for life. Believe it or not, the only thing the pink party people do better than love is fight. _******  
**

_- Corellian freighter pilot Ellaiah Kel  
_

* * *

**_Everybody's waiting_**  
**_Everybody's watching_**  
**_Even when you're sleeping_**

"Shut the kriff up! I don't owe you nothin'!"

A snarl. "You pay me what you owe me, and I won' be forced 'ta shut you up, you frakking son of a bitch!"

The sounds of a full - blown fight jerked me out of a sound sleep. Shoving the thin blankets aside, I yanked my blaster from under my pillow and lunged for the door, not even bothering to put on my boots.

I shoved the door open with my right hand, the force of my push sending the flimsy metal sheet flying back against the wall with a loud thud. Squinting my eyes against the inky darkness, I tensed to sprint out, but before I could get one foot out of my room, a whoosh of cigarette - and alcohol - laced breath blasted me in the face. Recoiling instinctively, I raised my blaster -

- and stared straight into the glowing red eyes of a green male Duros. I let out a muffled shriek, and my left pointer finger tensed over the trigger of my DL - 44 as adrenaline flooded my veins.

"You gonna shoot a friend, cheeka?"

"Hep!" I exclaimed. Relief flooded me, but at the same I was pissed. "You frakking scared me, you karking idiot!"

The Duros seemed completely undisturbed by my outburst. "What're doing out at this time of night, pateesa?"

Force, this guy doesn't do subtlety. I glared at Hep. What I did was none of his business. "I heard a fight. Wanted to check it out."

"Pateesa, you're better off not stickin' your nose in other people's fights, 'round here. Don't know where you came from, but ya obviously ain't got too much street smartness in that pretty head o' yours yet."

I opened my mouth to respond, but then aforementioned fight escalated. The language the two contenders were using became even more colorful, and other voices joined the fray. I shut my mouth. Trying to intervene probably wouldn't do any good, and I risked blowing my cover. "'Kay then. I'm going back to bed."

Hep didn't answer. He didn't talk much, and when he did, his words were more like speeches delivered to the person he was talking to than actual interaction. I stepped outside my room far enough to snag the door handle and pulled the door shut.

Cursing to myself, I stepped gingerly back towards the bed. I had a love affair with danger, and I could barely stand sitting still while something was going on. I also felt very vulnerable sleeping while people duked things out only a few meters from my doorway. There was no way I was going back to sleep until the fight stopped, and judging from the noises I could hear now, that might not be until morning.

I did my best to wipe my feet on the small mat at the foot of the bed and then climbed under the covers clutching my blaster. I'd infiltrated the Black Moon slaving and smuggling ring flawlessly, but I'd be a total idiot to let my guard down for even a second. If anyone here - even Hep, who I was sort of fond of - found out I was a Jedi Investigator sent to analyze and ultimately break up Black Moon, I'd be dead meat. Literally.

I put my head down on the pillow and squeezed my eyes shut. I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep unless the fight stopped, but lying down while it went on was grating on my nerves something awful. In an attempt to calm myself, I reached out through the Force - and the first thing my senses ran into was Hep.

He was only several meters from my door, farther down the hall. That might not have been so disturbing, but what I was sensing from him was disturbing enough to make me sit up again and clutch my blaster tighter.

He was reeking of what I called 'watch - feeling' - like he was a bodyguard or something. And he was watching me.

It took only a minute to put the pieces together. Hep had been right outside my door when I opened it, and now he was watching me.

He's been watching me all night, I realized. Frak him! He must have come in sometime after I fell asleep, and had been lingering around ever since. He wasn't watching me out of concern for my safety either; I could tell that much. His sense was one of a predator circling his prey, suspicious. _How could you have been such an idiot, Niebur?_

My master was always telling me, _"You need to be more aware of your surroundings, Niebur. You're a Jedi, and a Zeltron besides. You have both Force senses and natural empathy. Use them!"_

Though I didn't like to admit it, Master Kayn was right. I wasn't aware enough of my surroundings, and when you're an undercover investigator, not watching your back will get your cover blown fast.

Frak it! This was my first major solo mission, and I was already slipping up. I'd been watched all night - and maybe last night too - and I hadn't even noticed.

_Get your act together, Niebur._ You may have pulled the initial infiltration off, but people are watching.

**_Keep your ey-eyes open_**

I barely blinked after I realized Hep was watching me. The only way to survive being an undercover investigator is to carry a big blaster - and keep your eyes open._  
_

**_The tricky thing_**  
**_Is yesterday we were just children_**

Sometimes, I wish things could go back to the way they were when I was a kid. Those were good days - Before, I call it - when I was an innocent little girl whose biggest concern was matching the other crechelings during 'saber practice. It's been forever since I was a 'child,' but it feels like yesterday._  
_

**_Playing soldiers_**  
**_Just pretending_**

In the orphanage on Zeltros, and even in the Jedi Temple, the other kids and I used to play war games. People got killed in our 'battles', but it never was a big deal - after all, it was just pretend, right? Not real.

Now, at nineteen years old, I've been a real soldier for eight years, and I've learned that being a warrior in real life is no fun _at all_. People who think war is a grand adventure are _total idiots - _or _very _ignorant. It's not the exciting drama the holovids make it out to be - it's _blood_ and _agony_ and _insanity_ and _death_.**_  
_**

**_Dreaming dreams with happy endings_**

In our pretend war games, the good guys won and the bad guys lost - every time. In real life, the good guys don't always win, and not everybody gets a happy ending.

When the shocking news that maverick Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn had been killed by a Sith in the battle on Naboo swept through the Jedi Temple, the other younglings and I huddled together after lights out and made up stories about how the Jedi were going to crush the Sith. Our stories were dramatic and romantic, and though we all came up with vastly different storylines, all our stories ended in the same way: the Jedi were victorious and the Sith were soundly defeated.

It's been twelve years since then, and we've not found a single trace of the second Sith. Dooku and his Dark Acolytes have killed many of my brothers and sisters, and there are times when I really wonder whether the Jedi and the clone army are going to be able to defeat General Grievous and the droid army.

Not to be pessimistic, but Happily Ever Afters _do not_ happen in real life._  
_

**_In backyards, winning battles with our wooden swords_**

Back in the orphanage on Zeltros, our 'battlefield' was a grassy meadow and our 'weapons' were duraplastic water-blasters. I first held a real blaster when I was nine years old, and I first saw a blaster in used when I was eleven years old.

After seeing my first shooting in a bar on Nar Shaddaa, I wondered how the frak I could have ever thought it was fun to simulate killing someone. The line between life and death is so _very_ thin – one second the guy was alive, the next second he was slumped over in his chair, dead.

The Masters first put a lightsaber in my hands when I was four years old, a year after Master Kayn brought me to the Jedi Temple. It was a training 'saber – the most it could do was give you a second – degree burn. I'd always been fascinated by lightsabers, and I loved to pretend to duel Sith when I sparred with other younglings. We would take turns playing the 'Jedi' or the 'Sith,' and whether or not he or she won the match, the 'Jedi' was always allowed to triumphantly 'decapitate' the Sith when the fight was over.

Now, fifteen years later, I carry a _real_ lightsaber, and I know the damage it can inflict. I've cut through thick durasteel doors it, intimidated with it, maimed with it, and killed with it. Sometimes, staring at the beautiful, brilliant crimson blade of my 'saber, I wish it was just a training 'saber again.

**_But now we've stepped into a cruel world_**

I don't think Jedi really have childhoods, and I'm lucky I spent the first three years of my life on the pleasure planet, Zeltros.

My childhood began to end the day Firrereo Jedi Master Kayn received permission from the staff of the Lexen Central Orphanage to take me to the Jedi Temple for training. I still clearly remember the way the tall man with pretty golden skin and copper – and – black streaked hair looked when he stooped down to look directly into my eyes and asked in his deep voice if I would like to become a Jedi. I didn't know what a Jedi was, but it sounded nice, so I said 'yes.' The man smiled, showing his pointed teeth, and proceeded to explain what becoming a Jedi would mean for me.

It was hard to leave Zeltros, but I was convinced that becoming a Jedi would be fun, so I went with Master Kayn.

Looking back now, I wonder – if I'd known what becoming a Jedi would truly entail, would I still have said 'yes'?

...

My childhood ended for real the day Master Kayn took me as his apprentice…

_It had been a fairly ordinary day for the initiates in the Dragon Clan. We were all eligible for apprenticeship, and some of my clan members had already been apprenticed to various Knights and Masters. This, of course, had caused a lot of nervousness and speculation in the members of the clan, including me. The Masters had already determined that I would enter the Sentinel division if I was apprenticed, but I was worried that I might get sent to the Service Corps. I wasn't very strong in the Force, and I had started training late. Plus, most Knights and Masters would be wary about taking a Zeltron padawan – our race was known for being passionate and amorous, and I'd already gained a reputation for being hotheaded and stubborn. _

_I was reading in the Room of a Thousand Fountains when I felt a presence tickle my mind._

_I looked up, and there he was, leaning against a pillar with a friendly smile on his face. It had been eight years since I'd last seen him, and his hair was all black now, but I would recognize Master Kayn anywhere. _

_I leaped to my feet, my datapad tumbling to the ground forgotten. "Master Kayn!" I was sorely tempted to run forward and hug him, but I knew better than that. I had enough of a reputation for being…_Zeltron_ – no need to add fuel to the flame. _

_Master Kayn pushed off the pillar, his smile widening. "Greetings, Initiate Boton. It seems as if you haven't forgotten me."_

_I grinned back at him. "I could never forget you. You're responsible for me being here, after all."_

_The Firrereo inclined his head. "True." He took several steps towards me. "Do you have time to talk?"_

_I glanced at my wrist chronometer. "I have to be at 'saber practice in forty-seven standard minutes, so I'd say I have about thirty-five minutes. Is that enough?"_

_Master Kayn nodded, his expression growing solemn. "That should be enough."_

_"All right then." I sat back down on the bench I'd been on, hesitated for a moment, and then motioned to the space beside me. With a small smile, Kayn strode over and seated himself, all in one graceful movement. I was much taller than I'd been when I saw him last, but he still looked large and somewhat intimidating._

_Clasping his hands, Master Kayn turned to me, his expression earnest. "I am not much good at small talk, so I will just get straight to the point. How old are you now, Initiate Boton?"_

_My heart suddenly threatened to pound out of my chest as I realized what was about to happen. Before Master Kayn even asked me, I knew my answer would be 'yes.' With an effort, I shoved down my excitement and answered his question. "I'm eleven. But you know that – you're the one who brought me here."_

_Master Kayn's skin flushed light silver. "Right." He cleared his throat. "You're eligible for apprenticeship now – I found out from your clan leader. I talked to the Council, and they have agreed. What I want to know is, do _you_ think you're ready? To become an apprentice? You still have two more years to make your decision, you know."_

_I felt my heart warm. I'd always felt Master Kayn cared about me, and this proved it. None of the Masters seemed to care all that much about my opinion – even about myself – and Master Kayn was actually asking _me_ if I felt ready to become an apprentice. He was giving me a _choice_ – and I gotten very few of those these past eight years. _

_I swallowed hard. This wasn't a decision to take lightly, but I couldn't dream of saying anything except 'yes.' "I am ready."_

_Master Kayn's brow wrinkled slightly, and his brilliant yellow – green eyes bored into my sky - blue ones. "Then, if you are ready, do you think you would be willing to become my apprentice, Initiate Boton?"_

_"Yes!" _

_At that, Master Kayn grinned, a full – blown grin that showed his faint dimples and pointed teeth. "It is done then. I have already spoken to the Council, and they agreed."_

_I resisted the urge to jump up and twirl around, forcing myself to sit still and look dignified. I smiled. "I am honored to become your apprentice, Master Kayn."_

_"I am honored to become your Master. I am a Jedi Investigator, so after we make your apprenticeship official, we will go to the Investigator Board and get our first assignment together."_

_"I will be looking forward to it, then."_

_"I should not hold you any longer, In – Boton," Master Kayn said, rising. "Can you meet me in training room TR – 57 at 2000 hours tonight?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Very well," the Firrereo swept an elegant bow. "I'll see you later tonight." Spinning on his heel, he strode away, cloak billowing. _

_As I watched his retreating back, I felt that a chapter in my life had ended, and another had begun. _

_Later that night, I shivered as my Master used a vibroblade to trim a wisp of hair below my left ear and then carefully wound it into a firm braid. When he stepped back and let the Padawan braid fall onto my shoulder, I couldn't help myself anymore. I jumped up and hugged him, firmly. He started for a moment, flushing silver, and then hugged me back, if a bit tentatively. The faint training bond we shared flarely briefly in the Force, and I knew without a doubt that Kayn would be an important force in my life for as long I lived.  
_

_Three days later, I stood on the steps of the Jedi Temple with my Master as the sun set and stepped into a new world. _

...

The Real World had a frakking lot of bad people in it. I've met countless psychopaths in my eight years as a Jedi Investigator, but the man who really, truly scarred me was the one who couldn't take no for an answer..._  
_

_I desperately attempted to clamp my legs together, but I was already weak from the repeated electric shocks, and Deljos was so terribly strong. His hot, grasping hands clamped over my thighs and began to pull them apart._ Force, _please_, this can't be happening...

_I'd known from the moment I looked into Deljos' cold grey eyes that he was an evil man, but I didn't think he'd go this far. He'd already tortured me. Now he was going to kriffing _rape_ me too.  
_

_I tugged desperately against the metal cuffs pinning my hands and neck to the floor. Deljos' hand began began to slide up the inside of my thigh__, and I screamed. "Don't kriffing touch me!"  
_

_A gleeful, evil laugh from above me made my blood run cold. Waves of sadistic pleasure rolled off Deljos, and I opened my eyes to see him looming over me, looking directly into my eyes. "Kriffing is just what I am going to do to you, my dear. You've been a thorn in my side long enough -" his hand moved _up_ and my back arched as I cried out -"and I intend to make you _pay_. But, seeing as Zeltrons like..._pleasure_ - I'll make you pay in a way that will be _pleasurable_...to _me_. You might enjoy it too, darling," he leaned down, and his disgustingly hot breath washed over my face, "if you just lie still and don't struggle. They probably don't let you do this since you're a Jedi - why don't you just relax and enjoy the moment?"  
_

_I was trembling with terror, disgust, and fury, and I could barely gather my wits enough to project negative emotions. "You kriffing son of bitch!"  
_

_I regretted my outburst a second later as Deljos dug into me with both hands. _Force _please_, no..._  
_

_Once again, I frantically attempted to touch the Force - but it eluded me. I had heard that it was possible to temporarily cut Force users off from the Force by using yslamiri, but I never dreamed it would be this horrible. I felt stripped, abandoned, naked. If I had the Force I'd be able to stop Deljos, or at the very least call out to my master for help. _

_Tears streamed down my face - I hadn't cried like this in years. Did my Master think I was dead? If he did, he might never come. Was I going to die here by Deljos' hand? Deljos was unfastening my pants now. I screamed. _Force _please_ no..._  
_

_Deljos had his way that night. I knew that the first time hurt, but I never imagined it would hurt _this_ much. After all, the first time was supposed to be something sweet and tentative, not _cold_ and _evil_ and _possessive_.  
_

_Eventually, my body hurt so much - the insides of my thighs were slick with blood - and I felt so utterly _horrible_ inside that I fell into unconsciousness. My last thought before the blackness mercifully swallowed me was: _The galaxy is an evil place_.  
_

_**Where everybody stands and keeps score**_

I cried out as an especially intense spike of pain penetrated deep inside me. Deljos chuckled. "That was number two."

"Wh - what?" I choked, struggling to speak between swollen, bleeding lips.

"I told you I intend to make you pay, dear. For every thing you've ever done to jeopardize Black Moon, I'll mete out an appropriate punishment. Don't worry - the punishments better as they go on."

I hated it when people listed my faults or mistakes, but this was just..._psychotic_. "_Kriffing_ psychopath."

**_Keep your eyes open_**

_It was dark, and something hard was pinning me to the ground. Hot, groping hands slid up my thighs. I tried to scream, but no words came out. _Force, _please_, not again...

A soft, familiar presence brushed against my mind, and I jolted awake, sitting straight up in my bed. _Frak_.

I looked around. I was in one of the soothing, pleasant rooms in the Halls of Healing, in the Jedi Temple. I was on a bed with soft, warm, and clean sheets, not pinned against an unforgiving durasteel floor against my will.

_Stupid nightmares._

_Are you all right, padawan?_ My master's concerned voice floated through my mind.

_I'm fine_, I sent back. I didn't want to spend the night curled up against his side like a little girl again - even though that was the only way I'd be able to get back to sleep.

I felt as if if I closed my eyes Deljos would be able to get to me again, so I spent the rest of the night wide awake. I read and drew and even did some 'saber moves, careful not to close my eyes for more than a minute at a time._  
_

**_Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown_**

**_Everybody's watching to see the fallout_**

**_Even when you're sleeping, sleeping_**

"Master?"

"Yes, Niebur?"

I blocked a slash aimed at my knees and jabbed the end of my lightsaber at my master's throat. He blocked my move easily. "Why is _everyone_ karking watching me these days?" My voice came out a lot harsher than I had intended.

I felt my master's heart sink through our bond. "They're all worried about you, padawan."

I couldn't contain a scornful laugh. "Right. They're not helping me recover," I staggered as my master slammed his orange blade against my red one in a powerful Djem So swing, "by staring at me like karking stalkers all the time. They look at me like I'm a bomb waiting to explode or something."

Master Kayn sighed loudly. "They look at you like that because they think you might break down at any moment. You haven't really...reacted violently or cried at any time, and they think an explosion is simmering just beneath the surface."

Anger coursed through me, and I swung even more aggressively. "They have _no right_ to judge me or my feelings! I think I'm starting to understand why the Separatists hate the Jedi - they stick their _frakking_ noses into _everything_! Does the Council have any concept of '_mind your own business_'?"

"Apparently not," Master Kayn said flatly. "Look, padawan; I know you hate this. I've tried to get us deployed twice, but the board thinks you still need time to recover." He both looked and felt uncomfortable. "They're afraid of you falling to the dark side."

_Hypocrites. Most of the Guardians are out there leading a _slave_ army of cloned _human beings_ and acting like nothing's wrong. _"Why?" I asked mockingly. "Because I want revenge on that _bastard_ of a _son of a bitch_ who...did what he did to me? I _hate_ Deljos, and I want _revenge_!"

My master started. The word '_hate_' was rarely said by Jedi, even casually. Hate was only one step away from the dark side, in the High Council's _Not So Humble Opinion_, so according to their rules, I had just committed a _grave_ sin. I wondered what my master was going to say.

"You shouldn't say that, Niebur," my master's voice was barely audible. "Hate...I don't want to lose you to the dark side, padawan. I saw what losing Xanatos to darkness did to Qui - Gon. You...you're too _bright_, too _good_, to go down that path."

I stared at my master. Oftentimes I forgot that he was over one hundred years old - one hundred and eighteen, to be exact. The pleading in his voice broke my heart, but I _still_ wanted revenge. "It's not _fair_ for Deljos to get away with what he did. He _deserves_ to be punished." Actually, I wanted to _kill_ Deljos, _slowly_ and _painfully_, but I didn't voice that.

My master swallowed and brushed a hand over his eyes. I knew he wasn't trying to manipulate me, but seeing him this emotional made me feel very, _very_ guilty, and I didn't like it.

"You'll get justice," he said at last. "I _swear_ you will, in good time. Just don't give in to your hatred for Deljos. Don't let what he did to you change who you are - if you do, he really will have succeeded. Don't let his poison get into you." He was almost begging. "_Please_."

My heart constricted, and I suddenly realized we had stopped sparring. Our lightsabers were still ignited, and their steady humming was the only noise in the otherwise dead silent room. _Don't let his poison get into you_. I shuddered. _Into you_...Deljos had already gotten into me physically. I _definitely_ didn't want him getting into me spiritually.

My master was staring at me, waiting for my answer, a pained look in his yellow - green eyes. I twirled a bright red curl around my finger. "I won't go dark, Master. I promise."

Master Kayn's shoulders slumped visibly, and his relief permeated the room. "Good then. Now the other Jedi don't have any reason to watch you, right?"

I forced a smile. "Right."

I could still feel them watching, though.

**___Even when you're sleeping, sleeping_**

Deljos haunted me from light – years away. His evil face, grasping hands, and slick voice stole into my dreams and completely took away my sense of safety. I had faced down danger since I was eleven years old, but I had always felt safe whenever I returned to the Jedi Temple. The Duros bounty hunter Cad Bane had already shown the Order that it was perfectly possible to break into the Temple, and whenever I closed my eyes to sleep, I worried that I would wake up to stare into Deljos' cold gray eyes.

**_Keep your ey-eyes open_**  
**_Keep your ey-eyes open_**  
**_Keep your ey-eyes open_**

The Healers and Master Kayn said sleep was necessary to recovery, but I'd grown to hate sleeping. I felt I needed to be awake and alert at all times so I could be ready to fight. I had so much trouble sleeping that I started using healing and hibernation trances to rest.

**_So here you are, two steps ahead and staying on guard_**

Eventually, the Board agreed to deploy my Master and I again, forty days after Master Kayn had carried my unconscious form into the Halls of Healing. Of course, our mission was to eradicate Black Moon once and for all. Not as if the Board was eager to give us the mission – they were still wary of me. However, Master Kayn and I knew Black Moon the best; therefore we had the best chance at taking it down.

I was terrified of facing down Deljos' organization again, but my thirst for revenge overpowered my fear.

All too soon, I was alone – mostly – again, playing bait. You would think I'd be terrified of playing bait, and I was. But I knew that I – and only I – could play this role, and my anger fueled my resolve. The trap was working perfectly – I could feel Deljos' agents closing in on me, and with every step I lured them closer to their demise.

I was succeeding, but the job wasn't good for my nerves. I felt like Deljos and his cronies were breathing down my neck, and I almost never slept.

**_Every lesson forms a new scar_**

In my world, a single slip can mean death. The slightest falter means certain injury. Each mission I've taken has taught me new lessons - I have the scars to prove it.

However, you don't have to let your pain control you. Pain is like a benign tool – you can do whatever you want with it. You can try to run away from it – that never works. You can let it haunt you so much you're paralyzed with fear. Or you can shape it and turn it into a weapon, into your strength. And that's what I chose to do.

**_They never thought you'd make it this far_**

Deljos' translucent face beamed at me from the holoprojector. I gripped the edge of the table to keep from screaming with rage and terror.

"Hello, my dear."

"Don't _kriffing_ call me that!" I snarled.

Deljos' chuckled. "Still as foul – mouthed as ever. Your red hair fits you well – you're quite the feisty one. As for _kriffing_…well, I'd be lying if I said I'm not looking forward to doing that with you again. Have you missed me as much as I've missed you?"

"Listen," I said. My voice was so hard and cold I barely recognized it. "I will _never_ be attracted to you. I will _never_ have sex with you again, _voluntarily or involuntarily_. If you try to touch me again,_ I will make you swallow your own testicles **whole**_. As a matter of fact, I'm going to _kill_ you."

Deljos yawned. "Feisty girl. Smart, too. It's a pity we didn't meet under other circumstances – we would've made great business partners. You've stayed one step ahead of me, but I'm closing the gap. Frankly, I never thought you'd get this far."

**_But turn around (turn around), oh they've surrounded you_**

I felt the back of my neck tingle only moments before my danger sense kicked into overdrive and I jolted awake.

No less than seven people were outside my hotel room door, and the door rattled ominously as they began to break in. Most of the senses were unfamiliar, but there was one that I knew far too well for my own liking – and it was radiating a vicious smugness.

_Deljos was here. _

_With at least six of his henchmen._

_I was surrounded. _

_And there was no way out. _

**_It's a showdown (showdown) and nobody comes to save you now_**

I leaped out of bed, grabbing and igniting my lightsaber and lightwhip all in one motion.

I backed up against the large window, fear making my movements jerky. I wanted to face down Deljos and make him pay for what he'd done, but I _didn't_ want to do it alone. I wanted my master beside me.

Yet, with Deljos and his cronies only ten meters away from me, a showdown was _completely _inevitable. And, judging from the sounds the door was making, it would take place in approximately forty – five seconds.

How could I have gotten sneaked up on again? Stretching out with the Force, I noticed that one of the senses seemed…_clouded_ and realized they had a ysalamir. That was how they must have been able to sneak up on me – they blurred their presences with a yslamir. However, the yslamir they had must be weak or dying, because I could still access the Force, albeit with some difficulty.

I wished it could be like in the holovids, where a '_knight in shining armor_' male character would swoop in with guns blazing and save me. But things like that don't happen in real life.

_Help!_ I screamed to my master through the Force.

His concern and fear for me washed over me like a tidal wave, and I heard his response, full of desperation and urgency. _Hold on, padawan, I'm coming._

How could I ever have been so _stupid_ as to think I could handle this job alone? And yet, if any of our allies had been too near me as I laid the minefield for Deljos, it would take a lot longer before we could capture him.

I had _thought_ I knew what I was doing, but with the clock ticking down to the final showdown with _no one_ to help me, I wondered if I hadn't made a _massive_ mistake.

**_But you've got something they don't_**  
**_Yeah you've got something they don't_**

The door burst open, and blaster fire lanced through the opening. Acting on instinct, I whipped my blade in front of me and deflected the storm of bolts, using the Force to predict the path and timing of each bolt.

_Force help me…_

_The Force._

Suddenly, it all came together in front of me as clearly as if someone had spoken to me. I had the Force. I wasn't very strong with the Force, but I had it, and that was what mattered. Deljos and his cronies, smart as they were, didn't have the Force.

But I _did_.

And they were about to learn _just_ what an angry Force user could do.

_**You've just gotta keep your eyes open**  
_

I was deflecting blaster bolts with the 'saber in my right hand. My whip was in my left hand, and I'd positioned it so that its multiple ribbons were feathered in front of me.

The door was large, and at least four men had come through. They were wearing armor – that explained why they hadn't been killed by the bolts I'd deflected back at them. I suddenly realized that the bolts they were shooting at me were stun bolts; they were trying to capture me, not kill me.

I knew _exactly_ what Deljos would do to me if he captured me, so I had to find a way out of here fast. But _what_? I didn't think I'd be able to hold out against the men's fire until help arrived – namely, my master – so the only other options were running or tricking them. I couldn't mind – trick anyone while deflecting blaster bolts, and I certainly couldn't mind – trick seven (or was it eight?) men all at once. That left getting away as the only real option. But _how_?

And then it came to me.

_The window._

The only window in my hotel room on Corulag was smack dab on the side of soaring skyscraper. There was nothing but a sheer drop to certain death below – for a non Force – sensitive, that is. The drop was completely survivable for a Force – sensitive – I_ hoped_.

Unfortunately, the window was closed. I knew I could blow it out with the Force, but the men certainly weren't going to let up their fire long enough for me to turn around and knock it out. That meant I would have to divide my attention and somehow manage to block blaster bolts _while_ blowing the window out.

Taking a deep breath and delving as deep into the Force as I possibly could, I imagined a whirling ball of energy centered in the middle of the window and mentally sent the ball flying violently outwards.

_Powah_!

The sound of the transparisteel exploding was so loud I actually flinched. The men firing at me froze momentarily, and that was all the time I needed. Tensing my legs and drawing on the Force, I sprang with my legs and telekinetically propelled myself backwards out of the window.

I deactivated my lightwhip and lightsaber the moment my torso was out of the window, hugging my arms to my sides and arching my back slightly to make myself more aerodynamic as my legs came out.

The way I had jumped out meant I was falling upside down, head first, and while I don't get dizzy, I felt much more comfortable seeing where I was falling.

Once I had fallen about ten stories, I manipulated the wind currents around me and brought my knees to my chin. I turned a backwards somersault and put my legs down straight, and then I was falling with my face towards the skyscraper.

While jumping off of skyscrapers isn't the safest thing, even for a Jedi, it is an incredibly exhilarating experience. The sun was just coming up, and it made the durasteel sides of Corulag's skyscrapers shine almost like mirrors. I would've thoroughly enjoyed the experience if it wasn't for the ah, _circumstances _of my jump.

I slowed my fall as I neared the ground, bending the wind around me to keep from bumping into things. Several speeders honked loudly at me as I fell past them, and I winced inwardly thinking about how this might possibly end up in the Corulag morning news.

I landed in a quiet alley full of boutiques, salons, and small restaurants just opening for the day. Immediately, I ducked into a footwear shop to buy boots – I had slept in my clothes, but I'd left my boots behind in my room.

Everyone I dealt with that morning was friendly, but I stayed on guard. After being caught twice, I had more than learned the importance of keeping my eyes open.

**_Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown_**  
**_Everybody's watching to see the fallout_**  
**_Even when you're sleeping, sleeping_**

I wandered around the pleasant neighborhood I'd '_landed_' in that morning for a while. I considered using my comlink to call Master Kayn, but I was afraid Deljos' frakking cronies might have tapped into my comline. I had a feeling they were just waiting for me to let my guard down, and then they'd jump.

**_Keep your ey-eyes open_**  
**_Keep your ey-eyes open_**  
**_Keep your ey-eyes_**

My ears, eyes, Force senses, and Zeltron telepathy were all working overtime, alert for threats. My master would be here by afternoon, based on his last position that I was aware of, but I was scared that Deljos might jump before then.

**_Keep your feet ready_**  
**_Heartbeat steady_**  
**_Keep your eyes open_**

I did everything I could to prepare for my showdown with Deljos. Normally, I hated doing all those little Force exercises the Masters insisted were so important, but I did all of them and more that morning.

**_Keep your aim locked_**

It was too bad I'd left my blasters behind in my room. I was starting to think I'd prefer sniping Deljos to going one - on - one with him. Whatever way we settled things, however, Deljos was going to find out that I was nothing short of utterly _nasty_ when I was mad.

**_The night goes dark_**  
**_Keep your eyes open_**

"It's getting dark," Master Kayn muttered close by my side. Since arriving in mid – afternoon, he had stuck to my side like glue. He had actually hugged me – _very_ tightly – when we caught up with each other in an alley. I'd never been so glad to see him in my life.

"Right," I said. "_Kriffing bad_ things happen in the dark. But I'm ready."

Master Kayn's yellow - green eyes bored into my blue ones. "You think so?"

I nodded, my chin set. "It's time for the reckoning. We already have all the intel on Deljos kriffed - up organization – all we need to start knocking it down is kill him."

I felt my master's Force aura chill slightly. He shuddered. "And you're going to kill him?"

"Yes."

I knew what was coming next. "Are you going to torture him?"

I hesitated for a moment. I wanted Deljos to suffer the way he'd made me suffer. _Don't let him get into you…_

"No," I said slowly. "At least not too much. I'll definitely knee him in the balls if I can – maybe a punch or two. Don't get me wrong – I still _hate_ that kriffing _bastard_. But I think I'll just kill him and be done with it."

Master Kayn took a long, shuddering breath. "Good then." I suddenly realized he was trembling.

"Are you okay, Master?" I asked. "This is my fight, you know."

Master Kayn looked down at me, his eyes burning with emotion. When he spoke, his voice was choked. "Padawan – I have learned how to suppress my negative emotions, as is the Jedi way, but that does not mean I do not experience them. I ha – I _despise_ Deljos every bit as much as you do. Do you know how much it _hurt_ me – how much it _hurts_ me – to see what he's done to you? You have refused to let his crime against you define you, but the...effects are obvious. You still struggle to sleep, and for weeks you couldn't bear to have any male except me touch you. I want Deljos dead as much as you do – I can't even _begin_ to tell you how much it _terrified_ me to let you play bait."

I felt my face grow burning hot. Here I had been wallowing in my own anger and self – pity without thinking once about how much my pain must have affected my master. He had protested _violently_ when I agreed to play bait – but I had stubbornly overruled him in my quest for revenge. "I'm sorry, master," I said. It sounded so kriffing lame. "I didn't realize how much this hurt you." _Cringe._ _That sounded just great, Niebur…_

"No need for apologies, Niebur," Master Kayn said, slowly exhaling. "I'm just glad you're alright."

Just then, the sun slipped below the horizon.

_**(Keep your eyes open [4x])**_

Deljos and his men might be stalking me, but I was ready.

**_Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown_**  
**_Everybody's watching to see the fallout_**  
**_Even when you're sleeping, sleeping_**

Deljos was waiting for me to slip. Unfortunately for him, though, he was going to be the one caught unawares this time around._  
_

**_Keep your ey-eyes open_**  
**_Keep your ey-eyes open_**  
**_Keep your ey-eyes open_**  
**_Keep your ey-eyes open_**  
**_Keep your ey-eyes open_**

I was bored.

It was nearly midnight, and my master and I had ended up sitting in the back of a small cantina in a dark alley - the perfect place to deal with Deljos and his men quickly and neatly if they'd tracked us and decided to stroll in. We had been sitting and strategizing for a standard hour, and now our conversation had trailed off into silence. We had plotted a more - or - less foolproof plan for trapping and dealing with Deljos, but my master had insisted we wait until tomorrow to put it into action. I didn't like that idea, but mindful of our talk only a little while earlier, I'd reluctantly acquiesced.

So now we were just sitting there, doing _nothing_. I knew I'd have no rest until I dealt with Deljos, and postponing going after him was _kriffing torture_.

Just then, my master's comlink went off.

Nodding to me apologetically, he pulled it out and glanced at the code. His sense grew cold with apprehension as he read it, and I tensed. "Who is it?"

Master Kayn didn't answer. He pressed _accept_ and put the comlink to his ear. "Hello?"

He listened for several moments, and suddenly his sense flooded with triumph, happiness, relief, and...something that could only be called a sense of _completion_. "Thank you," Master Kayn said to the person on the other end of the line. "I can't tell you how happy I am to hear that." Here he gave me a look I didn't quite understand. "We'll be there as soon as possible."

Almost before Master Kayn had deactivated his comlink, I burst. "Who was that?"

"Adriav Kommer," he answered carefully."Padawan -"

"Adriav Kommer?" I interrupted. "Head of Corulag Defense Force for this quadrant?" Master Kayn and I were working with Corulag Defense Force to take down Black Moon, and I had become rather familiar with that name over the past several days.

"Yes, Niebur." My master took a deep breath. "Now, I will need you to be very calm. Can you do that?" He stared directly into my eyes, and I knew what he was going to tell me before he said it.

"Don't talk to me like I'm a karking child, Master. I already know. Corulag Defense Force captured Deljos." I had expected to feel elated at the news, but I felt only a cold calmness. Hatred roiled in my gut, but it wasn't the burning - hot hatred that had eaten me from the inside out for the past eighty - seven days. Instead, it was an ice - cold hatred mixed with durasteel resolve. I _knew_ what I had to do, and I would do it.

Master Kayn blew out his breath. "Correct, Niebur. Apparently he and the cronies who attacked you earlier today slipped up, and the Defense Force stormed their hideout. They didn't call us because they were afraid of their comm signals being tracked."

"That's understandable."

Master Kayn rose. "We're going to go to the Defense Headquarters. They are letting us decide how Deljos will be punished, since we were the ones who first identified him. They wouldn't give him any sentence but execution, anyway." This last sentence was delivered with a purposeful look at me. I met his gaze unflinchingly.

My master stared at me for one moment more, and then we walked out of the cantina together.

Time to deal with my own personal demon - once and for all._  
_

_...  
_

When we reached the Defense Headquarters, we were led into a conference room with Adriav Kommer and four other cops. I was nervous around so many men, but I shoved my fear aside determinedly and strode into the room with as much confidence as I could muster.

Once the security door whooshed shut behind us, Adriav - a rather hard - faced man in his late fifties - turned to us with a polite expression. "Master Kayn, Padawan Boton," he began, nodding to each of us in turn, "Corulag is very grateful for all you have done to help capture Deljos Therak. As you both know, CDF finally succeeding in capturing this criminal about one and a half standard hours ago. Since you were the ones who first identified him and his organization, and because you have been instrumental in his capture, we have decided to let you have a vote in how he will be punished."

My master looked at me.

Straightening my shoulders, I met Adriav's hard hazel eyes. "Thank you for this honor," I said, trying to sound as in - control as I possibly could. I could sense the surprise of the cops - they definitely didn't expect the apprentice to be the one doing the talking. "Based on what we know of Deljos Therak, I think we can all agree that he should be given the death sentence." A wave of vicious pleasure rolled through the room, and I felt oddly relieved. I wasn't going to get any '_let's give him a fair trial_' or '_be merciful, everyone has failings_' poodoo from these men. They all wanted Deljos dead, it seemed, and I couldn't help but notice that Adriav's hatred felt..._personal_, somehow. I looked at my master out of the corner of my eye, and then took the big leap. "And I would want to be the one to administer it."

Eyebrows went up openly at that. Adriav cocked his head to one side. "And why would you want to do that, Padawan Boton? From what I know, Jedi do not enjoy killing - even though they sometimes cannot avoid it."

My chest constricted, and I took a deep breath to calm myself. I didn't want to tell these men what Deljos had done to me, but I had to explain myself. "I have a very _personal_ score to settle with Deljos," I said carefully.

Adriav raised an eyebrow. "I thought Jedi did not believe in revenge."

_Whoops_. Beside me, I could tell Master Kayn was _very_ uncomfortable. I shrugged delicately. "Not all Jedi are so strait when it comes to some things. Desire for revenge may not be a _Jedi_ trait, but it is a _human_ one. And we Jedi are human beings, even though we are taught to suppress our emotions so much that sometimes we don't seem very human."

"Your mystical abilities are really what set you apart from the general populace," Adriav said dryly. "But in any case, Padawan Boton, I will present your request to the court. In ordinary circumstances I would not even _think_ about possibly allowing a minor to execute a criminal, but," he shrugged, "you are a Jedi. To be honest, I have a _personal_ grudge against Deljos as well - my nephew was killed when we stormed Therak's hideout." Here his face darkened, and his carefully controlled sense became a storm of anger and grief.

My heart sank. I swallowed hard. So Deljos had hurt - and permanently scarred - yet another person. I tried not to wonder if Adriav's nephew had had a wife and children. So much more the reason I had to deal with Deljos. I _really _hoped the court would allow me to execute him. "I am sorry, sir. My condolences."

"Mine as well," Master Kayn murmured.

Adriav's face nearly crumpled with grief, but he got ahold of himself and nodded briskly. "Thank you. After we have interrogated Therak - we must find out the full extent of his organization from him - we will deal with him."

I nodded. "Yes sir."_  
_

_...  
_

Three days after Deljos' capture, Adriav called me privately into his office. The moment I walked in, I knew the news wasn't going to be good.

Adriav waved to chair across from him. "Have a seat."

I sat - on the edge of the chair.

Adriav gazed at me for several moments, and then began. "I do not want to prolong this any more than is necessary, so I will go straight to the point. The Corulag court has given Deljos the death sentence, as we all expected. However, they have flat - out refused to allow you to administer it. Frankly, the head judge was quite horrified by the request and offered to pay for therapy for you if you needed it."

_I don't need therapy_, I thought. _I need to kill Deljos_. "I see, sir."

Adriav steepled his fingers. "Is that all you have to say?"

"Yes sir." That response was becoming _highly_ overused.

Adriav cocked his head. "If it is not too personal - and I will fully understand if you choose not to tell me - what exactly did Deljos do to you?"

My heart rate sped up, and I tried not to hyperventilate. _Should I tell him what Deljos did_? "Will you keep it strictly between us?" I asked.

He stared directly into my eyes. "You have my word."

_Alright then. Here goes nothing_. "He raped me." It was the first time I had ever articulated what Deljos did to me so clearly.

Adriav's reaction was fascinating to watch. For the first few seconds, his expression didn't change. Then slowly, horror - and anger - began to contort his hard features. "He did?" His voice was dangerously soft.

"Yes."

The CDF officer took a deep breath. "I understand your vendetta against him now. Do you want me to -"

"To try to persuade the judge to let me execute Deljos?" I interrupted.

"Yes."

I looked down at my hands. Hands that had itched to spill Deljos' blood for the past ninety days. I knew I could never forgive Deljos for what he had done to me. However, I wasn't innocent either - I had let my thirst for revenge so consume me that it threatened to cloud my senses at times. I knew a minor requesting to perform an execution was bizarre at best and psychotic at worst, but I had done it anyway in my mad thirst for revenge. I also knew that my request would be denied, but I had made it anyway, banking on the _very_ slim chance that _maybe_ they would let me do it.

I could tell from Adriav's sense that he was _very_ uncomfortable, and that he did not want to try to persuade the judge. Looking at it from another standpoint, I realized that Adriav must be very brave to even want to be in the same room with a girl who had asked to perform an execution. I believed Deljos was a psychopath, and in my quest to eradicate him I had started displaying some very psychopathic traits as well.

As much as I hated it, I knew what my answer would be - it was the right answer. I looked up. "No."

Adriav's relief was nearly tangible. He rose, and I stood up. "Very well then. If it is any comfort, Deljos will be executed at 2300 hours tonight."

I nodded. "Thank you, sir. You might not realize it, but you've just helped me come to my senses."

A small smile played at the corner of his mouth. "You are welcome then. I would not worry too much about your request if I were you - if I was in a room alone with Deljos now, I know I would shoot him without hesitation. You're not alone in your hatred."

At that, I smiled - the very first genuine smile in what felt like _weeks_. "Thank you, sir." I swept my most elegant Jedi bow. "Good night."_  
_

_...  
_

I was meditating when they executed Deljos. It happened just like Adriav had said it would - at exactly 2300 standard hours I felt Deljos' life force vanish from the Force, and something in me was set free. A dam broke, and it wasn't until I felt my master's arms around me that I realized I was sobbing. He gathered me to him like a I was a little girl again, and I cried into his shoulder until I couldn't cry anymore. When at last my sobs had dissolved into small hiccups, he spoke. "Are you all right, Niebur?" His voice was soft, his breath warm on my neck.

I was absolutely _exhausted_, but I managed to raise my face from his shoulder and give him a weak smile. "I am."_  
_

_...  
_

"Niebur, how many times have you played that song?" Master Kayn was looking a bit bemused.

"How do you know I've been repeating the song?" I asked.

"You keep pressing the '_repeat_' button on your 'pad, that's what," my master replied blandly. "What's so special about the song you're playing that you've repeated it...is it seven times now?"

"Nine," I corrected. "It's 'Eyes Open' by a Corellian singer named Taylor Swift. It's fits me so perfectly it's like it was written for me. Here," I pulled out my ear buds and floated my 'pad and earphones over to him. "Just listen and see if that's not me all over."

Master Kayn looked wary, and I didn't blame him. Up until four days ago, my tastes in music had definitely been on the darker side of the spectrum - hard rock and 'dark' songs had been the order of the day. With Deljos dead, I'd started to enjoy lighter stuff. It was good to feel like myself again.

With a little smile of resignation, Master Kayn put the ear buds in his ears and listened. By the time the song was halfway through (I had memorized how long it took to play) he was smiling. At the end, he was grinning. "It _is_ you."

"Yep," I said perkily. Master Kayn chuckled, and then floated the 'phones and 'pad back to me. I smirked at him, put the buds in my ears, and pressed 'repeat' again._  
_

_THE END  
_

* * *

_Cheeka - Huttese for "woman"  
_

_Pateesa - Darling/Sweetheart  
_

_Hep - Given name for male Duros/Durese for 'cunning'  
_

_Please tell me what you think in a review or PM! Do you think Niebur's reactions were realistic? Was Deljos as creepy as I think he is? What do you think of Niebur's master? Did parts of this fic feel rushed or unrealistic? I would really like to hear your thoughts on 'Eyes Open;' constructive criticism is more than welcome!  
_

_Thanks!  
_

_'Sabre35  
_


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